Saying Goodbye

A letter to all my friends down on Earth:

This is Miss Winnii writing,

This morning when I woke up I was very tired. I felt like I could hardly get up to go outside.   Mom took me to the doctor in July and she took lots of pictures of my chest and my tummy. I kept getting so fat and Mom didn't understand why. I don't eat very much cause Mom had me on a healthy diet.    The doctor said I had a tumor around my little heart. I don't know what a tumor is but they said it had cancer in it. I guess that is a bad thing `cause Mom & Dad got really sad.   The doctor told them I was going someplace before too long. I like to go places so I thought they should be happy for me. I can never figure out humans!

Mom said I was just sitting there staring into space but I really was doing something quite different. You see, I was thinking about the dream I had last night.

I dreamed that I heard all this barking, barooing, chirping, meowing, roaring and all sorts of critter noises - but it was all so far away. Then I saw this picture like a movie! It was of a bridge with lots of colors. At the end of the bridge was a gate where I saw a lot of animals. I think I saw a girl that used to live with Mommy and Daddy before I came to live with them. Her name was "Sandy" (basenji/whippet mix). I saw a lot of pictures of her. Everyone up there looked so happy and they all were wagging their tails. I tried so hard to run to see them but I was just too tired.

Mom picked me up and took me outside to go potty and I did. I am always such a good girl. Least that is what Mom says. I wandered around the yard but I just didn't feel much like doing anything today. We went back into the house and mom gave me some breakfast. I didn't want to eat. She gave me my medicine but I didn't want to take it today either. I just was a little confused and tired.

Mom was crying and said we were going to go visit Dr. Rosie & Dr. True. I love Dr. Rosie and Dr. True so I don't understand why Mom was upset. While she was getting ready to take me for a ride I decided to take another nap in Daddy's chair. That is my favorite place to nap. The blankie in the chair smells like my daddy and I love him so very much. He always tells me I am his little girl.

When I fell asleep I had that same kind of dream! Only this time I felt so happy and I didn't hurt anymore! I was able to run and reach that gate! I felt like I was floating in air.   When I got there a big soft hand petted me and opened the gate for me to go in. I looked up and saw this person who was all white and had the prettiest wings. Everyone here says she an angel. Hummmm! That is what Mama called me...her special little "angel". Daddy said did too.

I ran over to the grassy area and it was the softest grass I ever felt under my little paws. Then the neatest thing happened. This group of dogs came over to me and I knew them right away.   Everyone there knew each other. There were no strangers there. They licked me all over and I sniffed and licked them back and felt so happy. No one got mad if we got into "their space". Then I saw a special group standing there. They said their names were Sandy, Cassandra, Carrie, Hippy, Poco, Molly, Sally, Cookie and a lot of other names that I can't remember right now.   There were also many cats in all colors. One said his name was "FooFoo" and that he was the head cat down there. He was all yellow and white stripped and was so big. The angel was standing there with a big smile and told me that all these critters had lived with my Mom down there on earth. Wow! That was so cool.   They all said they loved mom and dad a lot and mom and dad had loved them down on earth too.

Up there is lots of soft grass and big trees. Basenjis don't have restraining leashes and never have to get wet anymore. There is a lake under this ramp called the Rainbow Bridge. All the dogs that like to get wet go play there.

There are cats, squirrels, rabbits and critters to chase all the time. But we never hurt them. We all get along with each other up here. We don't even snarkle at each other. Sometimes I think that might be fun but the angel says we don't need to.   There are even lions and lambs here. Mama told me that in the Bible it talked about the lion and lamb lying down together. They do here. Everyone gets along just fine.

They don't need to eat here cause they never get hungry but there are lots of bones, greenies and chew toys everywhere in case we just want to be alone and chew.   There are beautiful flowers and the sunshine is always so bright up in the sky. We don't have dark clouds and rain and storms like down there.   It is always just the right temperature for us to romp and play.

The angel told me I would be staying here now. She said she was the one that God sent to take care of us when we were on earth. I think she was right cause she had cat and dog hair all over her feathers. Mom used to have hair all over her clothes too.

The Angel must have known that it was time for me to come up there because she gently took me in her arms and helped me to the bridge. That must be why I felt like I was floating! It felt so good. I don't remember going to see Dr. Rosie or Dr. True but the angel said she saw me there. That's when she came to get me.

I looked down and saw my Mommy and Daddy crying so hard. I wonder why they were sad? I don't feel so tired anymore and I don't have a big bloated tummy here either!   The angel said they were sad because they miss me so much. She said they are really happy for me but they need time to grieve. I know that grieving hurts a lot because I have grieved before too. But now I am happy and I don't have to grieve ever again.

Mom and Dad really loved me, you know. But I loved them a lot too. I loved to snuggle with them and let them know how much I loved them. And they always snuggled me back.

Every single day I had to baroo to remind mom it was time for her to cook dinner for us. I hope she can remember to feed Gunner and Isis on time now.   Sometimes she would get busy and we had to eat a few minutes late. I didn't like her to be that busy with other things. She should try harder to remember what time it is, don't you think?

The angel said she would make sure Mommy and Daddy know that I loved them so much. And you know what?   She said she will make sure they always love each other with all their hearts and that they take good care of Gunner and Lady Isis down there. I know they will cause they love them too.

Mom and Dad knew I liked to go places and they loved me enough to let me come up here even though they said they wanted me to stay down there with them forever!   I will always be with them though with my spirit. The angel told me so.

Someday, the Angel told me, they will come see me and we will all be together again. When they do I will be waiting at the gate with all my other friends. I will be so happy to introduce them to my angel. She takes really good care of me up here.
When that day comes they can pet me and hold me and let me lick them all over again! I will even baroo for them without having any pain.   I might even let Gunner and Isis sniff me without getting upset cause they are in my "space".

I really like it here. I think this place is called HEAVEN.   Mom used to tell us all about that place. She said that is where her Daddy went when he left. I used to love him so much too. I think I will go see if I can find him now so he can pet me and know that I am safe and happy.

Love

Miss Winnii

A letter to Miss Winnii.

Winnipoo, my very special angel!

No other has ever taught me so much about love. You were here with me when I was sick and always stayed by my side until I felt better. I hope I was able to be that true to you while you were so sick. You never complained, though there were times when I was so sure you were feeling badly. That terrible cancer worked inside your precious body and you were unable to tell us about it.

We shared each morning for our quiet time to thank God for just one more special day with you.   Each day I was so scared it would be the last. You would lick my face and assure me it was OK.   You made me appreciate life - one day at a time and then finally one hour at a time.

You got in to so much mischief sometimes and would make it look like the other dogs did it. That made me giggle. But you never really were a very naughty girl, were you?

You were so good when around the elderly that you visited in the homes. Your visits made them feel so happy. That made me so proud and I think it made you happy too. You especially like to visit grandma. She loved you so much too.

I am very angry because you had to leave us. I know I shouldn't be but I can't help it. I know God has a better plan for you. Your daddy has a broken heart too. You were so special to us.

Sure, we have Gunner and Isis and we love them very much. You knew you were just a "special" gift to us when we needed that special gift. Gunner and Isis are very quiet today.   I am sure that they know you are an angel now. Daddy and I can only imagine how sweet you look with your special new pair of wings. I bet Jesus picked you up and assured you that you won't ever hurt again, huh? That makes us happy.

We will all be there to see you someday. We don't know when so keep an eye open for us, OK?

With all my heart,

Your human mama
Marlene